my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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