After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
