Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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