I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
