In America we eat man semen.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
