No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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