Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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