WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
