Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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