yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
