I got chris browned last night
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
