After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
