I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
