can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
