she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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