it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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