omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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