Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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