Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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