I wanna bring you to show and tell
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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