Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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