No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
