genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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