i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Too much gin, very little bucket
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
