NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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