I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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