the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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