i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
