The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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