Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
