Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
