Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
