I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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