Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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