I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
