My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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