One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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