Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
