saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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