I heard we made out
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
