He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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