If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
