All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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