You work out of a Hotel?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
