I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
