I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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