just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize
