He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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