You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Screwed.edu
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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