Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
