Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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