Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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