1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
