Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
